Posts tagged mourning

Hi< I dont want to seem pushy but are you going to have new posts anytime soon? I love your blog, it's the best! I miss your posts! — Asked by Anonymous

Ahh, yes, I will try to post more in the next week or so - and then get back to regularly posting my own stuff again soon. Promise. But I can only promise I’ll try. I’ve been hurting less, but becoming more apathetic and depressed over the past month, and I’m trying to work through it.

It’s been six weeks to the day since my “baby” (alright, yes, he was fully an adult and at least 8” taller than me) brother was killed in a bike accident.

He was a guiding figure in my life. Rarely (if ever) a best friend, but a constant friend - and antagonist. When he was disappointed in me I felt like I had to do better just to prove him wrong. When he was proud of me or impressed by something I’d done, it meant more than any perfect grade or compliment from our parents did.

I miss my brother. He loved the fact that I had a rather successful blog, even if he wasn’t the type to be terribly interested in this stuff. He still expressed happiness when I reached new milestones here.

I’ll get through this. I’ll keep blogging. It just might take a few more weeks to get back into the swing of things, okay?

[/sadface]

Yes. I be back soonish. Here’s an apology Nyan Shark.

1879 Mourning Lithograph. Commemorates a father&#8217;s four children who died when their wagon capsized while trying to cross the Kansas River. Children: Martha (11), Ida (8), Clara (5), and Walter (4) 
From Kansas Memory website.
&#8230;with all due respect to the kids, I can&#8217;t help but associate this with Oregon Trail. Which, I mean, they were actually on. It&#8217;s just that after losing who knows how many hundreds of wagon parties to drowning (I was an OT2 fanatic, never got into the original, so far less dysentery and lots of drowning), I feel like &#8220;Holy cow, this is real life Oregon Trail!&#8221; And I totally forget for a second that the Oregon Trail was real.

1879 Mourning Lithograph.
Commemorates a father’s four children who died when their wagon capsized while trying to cross the Kansas River. 

Children: Martha (11), Ida (8), Clara (5), and Walter (4) 

From Kansas Memory website.

…with all due respect to the kids, I can’t help but associate this with Oregon Trail. Which, I mean, they were actually on. It’s just that after losing who knows how many hundreds of wagon parties to drowning (I was an OT2 fanatic, never got into the original, so far less dysentery and lots of drowning), I feel like “Holy cow, this is real life Oregon Trail!” And I totally forget for a second that the Oregon Trail was real.